If you can start high school all over again, what would you do differently?
I don’t know where all these random questions are coming from, but alright..
This is hard because I’m not sure if I would do anything differently. If I would have done anything differently, I wouldn’t have met some of the most important people in my life. My whole life would be different. BUT if I could do something differently…
I would have tried harder in High School. I was too busy being the popular class clown. That’s all I really cared about. I didn’t care about grades or the future. One thing I learned since graduating, nobody cares if you were popular in High School. NOBODY. I don’t even talk to anyone from High School. Being popular and the class clown only got me kicked out of 3 schools.
Better grades I wouldn’t have cared for being popular Wouldn’t have been such a trouble maker/class clown
Are you going to "The Beatles: The Lost Concert" movie premier in a few weeks?
This is a random question, but I didn’t even know about this movie til right now. I might?? I like the beatles, but I don’t LOVE them. It’ll probably be something I’ll wait to see. Something I can redbox or netflix.
What can I say? As much as I want to be in a relationship, I can’t. I’m never satisfied, and always lack that overwhelming feeling of “love”. I know what it feels like, and that’s the reason why I can’t be in a relationship. I compare that feeling to every single girl I’ve ever “dated”, if that’s even what you would call what I do. That’s why I don’t blame the girls I’ve been with for moving on from me.
To make it easier to understand, I’m going to use percentages. These are my stages if I were to make one.
25% = I kind of like you 50% = I like you 75% = I really like you 100% = I love you
That’s basically my feelings scale, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt over 30% in probably a little over 3 years about anyone.
I mean, I’m capable of “liking” girls, but that’s where it stays. I’m there physically, but I’m not entirely there. I show affection, say the right things, do the right things, but it doesn’t mean as much as it should to me. I feel like I only do it to remind myself I’m still capable of making someone feel special. There’s not enough feeling there, which is why I never let it get serious. I stretch out the “benefriend” stage for as long as possible, until they’ve had enough and move on. I’ve led on and lied about how much I’ve liked a person. I don’t know why I’ve done it, but I have. Hate me all you want. I don’t care.
It is what it is. I feel like I’m incapable of feeling 75%, let alone 50% and up about anyone anymore. It doesn’t make me sad. If anything, it scares me more than anything. I envy people who can fall in love again, after being in love with someone else before.
So, to the girls I’ve dated, benefriended, talked to, messed with,
I’m not mad or upset about you moving on. I’m sure they’re capable of feeling beyond 30%, and can give you what I can’t.